I used to strive for CHANGE. I needed to CHANGE my job, my house, my life, my attitude, my whatever else–as soon as possible if not yesterday–because then I would be happy. 

With time, I resigned myself to Change. This is, annoyingly, not immediate. But as I got older I knew that planning and practice and patience were necessary. I had to think about things for a while and work hard to Change.

Now, I realize and (sometimes) accept that change is the maddening rascal I’ll always be waiting for, because it happens so slowly that it’s almost imperceptible. I can look back at the years and see that I have changed myself and my life for the better, but the accrual of positives is only possible to see by comparing the twenty-years-ago me or maybe the ten-years-ago me with the now-me.

This is a problem because humans aren’t exactly wired to strive for and notice really really really tiny changes. We want CHANGE and we want it now. I want to compare the yesterday-me with the today-me and see progress, dammit!, and my mind is likely to go to a dangerous place when I can’t see forward movement at the rate I expect.

But of course we’re also not exactly wired to process CHANGE very well. We can imagine it in an instant but only take in change comfortably over many, many strung-together instants. CHANGE tends to send us into a frenzy.

What we end up with, then, is most of us mostly not changing most of the time. A small percentage of people CHANGE, a slightly larger percentage of people Change, a larger percentage of people change. And some people, well, they only ch-. We can’t process what happens to them at all because it’s too tortoise-like to even form a word.

We humans sure do find ourselves in a lot of confusing predicaments. Can someone please work on CHANGING that?

*Note: The slow rate of change exhibited by humans is the reason why this is my first post in many months. I hope to CHANGE, uh, change this soon, uh, eventually.