I was trying to write every day for at least thirty days, but at the time I had set aside to write last night, I had a pounding headache. I briefly thought, But I know other people are productive when they don’t feel well. I can do that too. And then I realized (remembered?) that it’s okay if I don’t try to be productive when I’m not feeling well. There is no rule that says if one doesn’t produce during difficult times, one is a lame and hopeless human being. Doesn’t exist.

I was gonna write about coronavirus again today, but apparently now I’m going to write about rules–their existence or nonexistence, whether they should be followed or not followed. These are my initial thoughts: nonexistent rules should definitely not be followed. Existent rules should be followed depending on what they are. The golden rule that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated? One of the top three most important rules to follow, for sure. Some other rules should probably not be followed, none of which I can think of right now. (I think I just broke a rule of writing–that I should give an example or somehow back-up a claim I’m making. Oops, but oh well. Not hurting anyone if I don’t follow it.)

Trying to follow nonexistent rules (AKA rules that only exist in our heads) usually gets us in big trouble. I know from experience; I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to follow such rules, of which there have been many. It has been exhausting. Here are some of the biggies:

• Emotionally healthy people should always know how to handle their feelings.
• If you are in love with someone, you should always want to talk to and be around that person, without exception.
• If you are smart, you will get good grades.
• If you are good at something, you will always do it well, and you will just know how to do it without any practice or training.

I know, I know. My thinking was just a wee bit black and white and emotionally immature, even well into my adult years. (Ooh, and looky–it’s that pesky If Then again. See my previous post about that if you don’t know what I mean.) I think that our society also tries to pass these posers off as actual rules, but I know better now, thank goodness.

It turns out that breaking these rules is exhausting too, but the exhaustion wanes, and it’s certainly worth it in the end. So which rules are worth following, besides the golden one? The most important ones I got from other people: Love yourself so that you can love others. Be kind and brave. Show up, even when you don’t know what you’re doing. And one more: Treat yourself the way you would treat those you think are the most important people in the world. Do the last one so you can do the others as long and as well as possible.