I had to go out today to pick up a prescription for my daughter, which meant I got to listen to whatever I wanted by myself in the car. If you are a parent, you might understand what a treat this is. But in this time of quarantine it’s even more of a treat. (Yay, an errand! Not only do I get to go out and listen what I choose, but I get to go sit in a long line of cars at the pharmacy drive-thru window! Oh, blessed day!)

What I really wanted to listen to was NPR. I wanted to hear what they had to say about all things pandemic and reopening. But after a few minutes, the station started to fade out and was slipping back and forth between NPR and some unidentifiable music that I did not at all care for. The longer this went on, the angrier I got. This was my time to myself, probably for the whole day, and it was being ruined by poor reception. I just wanted to hear the news! I just wanted things the way I wanted them!

But then, on top of that, I started feeling shame. I shouldn’t be so angry just because I couldn’t listen to the radio station I wanted to. How immature of me! Where was the equanimity I’d been working so hard to cultivate? If anyone heard me yelling at the radio, they’d think I had an anger problem. What was wrong with me?

Thankfully, though, it didn’t take too long for me to realize what I was doing to myself. There’s nothing wrong with getting angry about this, I thought. A feeling is a feeling is a feeling. Feelings aren’t dangerous to anyone. Last I checked, not one single emotion had been accused of a crime. Even when we are in emotional pain, we’re not in danger. And having a certain feeling at a certain time doesn’t mean we are this or that or the other thing.

Feelings don’t obey rules, and they don’t box us in. We do best when we let them wander in and out of our souls, flowing through like a stream. Or they may slam into us now and then (whether we like it or not) instead of flowing through, but we will recover ourselves. They never stay for good, so although we can observe and know them while they’re with us, it’s best not to get too attached.