My heart aches today. I’m not sure why—maybe it’s everything to do with the pandemic, maybe it’s discontent with my privileged-but-not-all-I-want-it-to-be life, maybe it’s just hormones. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I’m responding to this ache differently than I would have a few years ago. It would have been cause for concern then, but now I’m okay with it staying around for a while. It has something to teach me. I might not learn the lesson right away, and that determined ache might keep coming back until I get it. That’s okay too.

My zen attitude doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ll enjoy the ache or that I’ll like it. It’s kind of like an annoying teacher whom you wouldn’t want to hang out with but whom you learn a lot from nonetheless. You roll your eyes at the sight of this teacher, but you still get out your note-taking supplies. And you try to pay close attention and make your notes as thorough as possible so you can get away from this blowhard as soon as possible!